Sunday, November 13, 2016

Week 6: Choosy Mom's May Choose Jiff, but I can't

This was one week in which I am glad that I got to run.  For those of us in the states, we had our Presidental Elections, and that has caused tremendous stress for a lot of people. Without getting too political, I realized that regardless whomever is President, that does NOT change me for who I am. I am still a person who still cares for my loved ones and who still wants peace and happiness for everyone. I think there has been a lot of fear and sadness going on, but the only person that I can control is myself.  It may sound selfish, but if I'm really angry or upset, I cannot make rational decisions to help others, let alone focus on what I have to do. ISo, with that being said, I continued to run, despite some emotional hardships I had this week, and running helped my physically deal with that stress.  I needed those short runs (2 miles, 3 miles, 2 miles), as I was able to regroup, and maybe get a bit of an emotional boost that we can all use.

As for my long run today, I am in the beginning stages of figuring out some fueling. In terms of the actual training runs, most of the foods I have been eating have been working fine.  I have found that peanut butter crackers, fried eggs, and oatmeal work well for me. I did make the mistake of eating an enchilada chicken and bean dish for lunch one day.  The beans gave me quite a bit of gas, making me quite gratefull that I was running by myself outside.    Oops!

Today, I was needing some pre-run fuel, as I had a long run of 4.5 miles on the schedule.  To be honest, money is also super tight right now, and groceries are getting a bit scarce, but I found some peanut butter and nutella.  So I mixed some of each in a bowl and ate that.  About 30 minutes or so later, I headed out for the run.  I don't know if I didn't allow for enough time for them to settle, but I could just tell that stuff was not "setting" in my system well.  It was too rich or something, because I really struggled mentally nadn physically through this run, even at a really slow pace.  I almost felt sorta sickish to my stomach, and could taste the peanut butter with some of the burps that happened-eeew.  I'm not sure if it's the particular brand that didn't agree with me, or if it was just too rich for my system to handle. I'm kinda thinking it was the later, as I've done just fine with peanut butter crackers.  Maybe I should've had something else to go with it, like a banana or something, but I'm having to make due with what I have for the next few days.  Whatever it is, I'm mentally marking off that combination as a possible fuel choice.

Mentally, I think I was struggling because of the slower pace that I had to run at.  I think it was also partially due to the fear of running 4.5 miles. It seems so irrational at this point, but I haven't ran that far in quite some time.  Plus, I knew I didn't have the best energy in me. It was like I wanted to go faster, but my body physically couldn't.  Granted, it's been a long time since I've basically ran 4.5 miles in one shot. I did have a few stops for traffic, which I used as a quick breather, and a chance to stretch, but that was it. Since I was struggling, I was questioning if a marathon really is possible for me, and was thinking of the "What's if's" if I do a marathon:

"Man. I'm going at a turtle pace today. What if I do finish last?"
"What if I do throw up at the finish?"
"What if I have to walk more than anticipated? Does that still make me a marathoner?"
"What if I really can't run this race?"

Then, on the other hand (foot?), I was trying to shut that negativity up.  So thoughts like these were crossing my mind:

"Hey. You knew there were would be some rough runs coming up. This is one. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other."
"Think about your buddy, Mateo. He just went through 3 weeks of intense PT/OT and speech therapy for his CP, and handled that like a boss.You can certainly handle this for him."
"Left right left right left right left right..."
"Hey! You're past half way! Come on, one more, then you'll be turning around to head back home!"
"Oh hey! You're closer to home than you expected. That was a long mile, but you got this one. Come on. Get to that mile, then cross X street.  Take a quick stretch and breather there if traffic allows, then run a few blocks past that.  Anything after about 3 blocks is a bonus. Besides, what if you finish this marathon strong? That would be sweet! BTW, walking is acceptable at a marathon. Even walking 26.2 miles is still a marathon distance, and you're already thinking of walking through water/aid stops anyways, so chill out."

As a whole, I don't think this run was a "bad" run. I was out there, and kept putting one foot in front of the other, and just learned a lesson along the way.  I'm now back at home, and anxiously waiting for some crockpot chilli with fresh beans (black, red, and pinto), chicken, fresh sautted onion and garlic, frozen corn, and a crushed fresh tomato to finish cooking.I really wish I had cheese, sour cream, and avacado to go with it, but oh well. This will do for right now.


Happy Running!


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